Designing our lives and leadership -Part 1


Just like the ones we see on our bodies, our unconscious wounds and scars are very much part of our past, present and future.

When designing our lives, it’s important to be aware of whether we are living from a wound or from a scar and which one are we operating from.

Living from a wound or a scar? What does this mean and how can we know which is which?

SPOILER ALERT! We can’t DESIGN our lives from a wound and have a happily ever after!

Whether we’re empowering ourselves to communicate effectively, to lead others in a professional context, to plan our own lives dynamically and effectively or we’re just bringing simple goals to life, such as goals around our relationship with self, our wellbeing or mental health, it’s really important to establish where we source our power from.

Our power, ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, is our ability to respond to what’s going on in our environment.

We have the power, in the moment, to respond to what is happening. Not what we’re projecting is happening, not what we’re anticipating is going to happen, not what we’re concerned is going to happen, but actually, genuinely, what is happening in THIS moment.

How do we get to a place where we are genuinely responding to what’s happening in the moment and in proportion to the circumstances? How do we ensure that an event gets the right amount of our attention or an event gets a suitable amount of frustration or another event gets the appropriate level of fear? We get to that through DESIGNING what it is that we want and then ALIGNING who we are mentally, emotionally and physically to that design.

I’m really into identifying patterns that govern everything we do. In my 15 years of living and breathing personal and professional development and coaching entrepreneurs, I see without fail that there’s a common theme among high performers. No matter what industries they’re in.

They do the DESIGN work on who they are and the results they want – the actual material results and the experiential – mental, physical and emotional results. Then they ALIGN their systems, their processes, their communication, their action, their structures, their reflections, their reviews, their planning process and their mental, physical and emotional states to be a match for that design. And that’s when they SHINE.

Some of us struggle with the DESIGN work. Who am I? What’s my passion? What’s my purpose? Others struggle with ALIGNMENT work. For example, a lot of high performers and entrepreneurs are not as challenged by achieving their material results, but rather they don’t get the emotional satisfaction to accompany it. This means something is missing in that alignment work. And SHINING is when we’re living in a world of not just having the material and emotional results that we desire, but also get to fully engage with it and enjoy it.

If you want to focus on DESIGN work, you need to know whether you are operating from an old wound or whether you are operating from a scar.

How do we know if we’re talking from a wound or a scar?

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