Labels only take us so far and seriously.. we all deserve transformation! So where did we get to? Oh yeah, Labels are B.S! Just STOP! They’re just another thing to manage.
If you don’t know why, check out Part 1 and Part 2 of this blog series. Our values dictate a bunch of our emotional feedback. If you don’t value stuff, or if you don’t get to do the things you value, you’re going to be sad all the time, because you feel like you’re losing and missing out. If you value order and control and there’s so much going on, you’re going to be in overwhelm and chaos and really upset all the time. Our values are really such a dominant determinant of our emotional landscape.
Now let’s MAKE IT SIMPLE!! 6 steps is all you need… There’s 6 steps in the process of how we move from awareness of articulating something, through to transformative action or acceptance. The first step is to get aware For instance, I get aware that I’m tired in those social circumstances. It’s hard work, I’m drained, I’m nervous, I don’t like it, I’m uncomfortable. The second step is going from awareness, which is just having physical, mental and emotional sensations, ie having feedback, to acknowledgment. So where we acknowledge…
I’m feeling this way. I’m able to articulate that when I’m in those social circumstances, when there’s not something automatically in common or it’s not something or a topic I’m interested in, the result is I’m tired, I’m disinterested, I’m disengaged and I’m awkward. So I call that acknowledgement or articulation. And that’ is the space where we label. That’s conscious awareness.
That’s taking it from a sensation in your brain stem, in your nervous system, and taking it into your frontal lobe where you can do some MAGIC with it, where you can slice and dice it… use your intellect, use problem-solving and your future projection. All the cool tools that humans have in their frontal lobe.
The third step, if you want to go beyond that, becomes analysis. If you do something with that articulation, with that awareness, you’ve got to analyse it. And when we’re analysing it, we have to look at what’s the source. If I’m able to cut through and go… actually it’s not about introversion/ extroversion, it’s about values, about where you spend your time, attention, energy. If it’s not aligned to your values, then you will be tired or you’ll be uninspired.
That’s analysis. That’s why I ask the questions: What is the source? And Has this happened before? In what environments did it happen before? What’s the consistent pattern in your thoughts, feelings and behaviour? How did we get this particular experience? That’s analysis. Looking for the formula. Looking for the recipe. Then after we’ve done the analysis, the fourth step is to assess Is this a problem for me? Is this something that I want to actually address? And make an important decision by asking Does this really matter to me? If it’s not something I want to address, we’re going to work on just accepting it. Ok, that’s who I am right now, I’m cool with it. That’s no dramas.
If I want to address it, I want new levels of power. I define power as having more choices, more freedom and the ability to process my emotions and not be subjected to my emotional experiences that dictate my choices. No I’m actually committed to something else, no I want something else, I’m going to go in growth mindset mode. If you choose to go with acceptance, I’ve got a whole video series about acceptance. You can go check that out and get empowered and get your acceptance mojo completely pumping. If you are not interested in accepting it, then you go into the final stage where you make a commitment to address it, and go into action.
Here’s what I want, here’s how I’m going to get it, it might be that I get help, resources, do some research, connect to people, share with people, talk to people, experiment on my own, brainstorm on my own, read biographies, look at strategies, get a coach, do some sort of training. There are unlimited resources people!! from the freest of the free, to the absolute primo. You will always get what you pay for. I’ve learned that through all my years of investing in myself..you will always get what you pay for. I’m going to recap the 6 steps:
Awareness: The feeling and the knowing Acknowledgement or articulation: Bringing into conscious awareness, where you can do something with it
Analysis: How did it get to this place? Is it consistent,? Where did it come from?
Assess: Is this something that I want to actually address? Then you choose whether to go to:
Acceptance: I’m ok with that and stop OR
Address + Act: consistently in action for what matters to us and turning our life into something that we fricken deserve.
I hope that gives you something to think about, that labels will only take you to step 2. And OMG my people!! We all deserve to go to step 6!! If this stuff around getting stuck at that stage of labelling is you, then come on! It’s time to go into step 3! We didn’t get taught these things in school, we didn’t get conditioned about these things as parents.
THESE ARE LEARNED STRATEGIES! And that’s what I do. I facilitate your transformation, your learning process. It’s all yours, all your capabilities. I just facilitate it and my team support me in that facilitation.
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